Monday, March 28, 2011

Top Ten Explanations For Crop Circles

10)  Just God playing connect the dots again.

9)  Mother Earth wanted a couple of really nice tattoos.

8)  The Aliens are fucking with us: crop circles are just an encrypted recipe for McDonald's secret sauce.

7)  They're handy coasters for the Jolly Green Giant's frosty beverages.

6)  Someone in heaven has a really bad cough.

5)  Jeb and Cooter are at it again with a rope and a couple planks.

4)  They're government funded dumb-people magnets.

3)  Bored extraterrestrial children are using the earth as a giant Etch-A-Sketch.

2)  They're the Satanic rituals of devil-worshipping field mice.

1)  Some people have WAY too much time on their hands.

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